Counselling in Wokingham – Moving on from an Affair

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 –

This is a sort of counselling “blog” to give you a flavour of how I work. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above

This blog was previously at where historical entries from November 2008 can be found

One of the big questions that needs answering as part of the recovery from an affair is “how can we be sure that it won’t happen again?”

It is generally not enough for the partner who’s had an affair (let’s call them the AP) to promise, because it is not likely that the injured party (IP) will trust their word at this stage – lies will generally have gone along with the affair.

What can be very helpful is for the AP to get a full understanding of why the affair happened, particularly to understand what was happening for them emotionally.  What was the pull?  What hooked them in?  Why did they make the decision to have an affair?  This process of understanding enables the AP to take responsibility and feel more in control of their emotions.  By doing this they can identify the emotional “danger signals” early – and thus make different choices should history threaten to repeat itself.


About Paul Cockayne

Counsellor, musician, iPhone developer, games-player, cheese-lover....
This entry was posted in Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s