Counselling in Wokingham – Recovering From Loss

Paul Cockayne – 07791

This is a sort of counselling “blog” to give you a flavour of how I work. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above

This blog was previously at where historical entries from November 2008 can be found

In my last post, I talked about the “needs wheel”, and how a loss affects us because it leaves us with a gap in our wheel; it can feel like we have lost a part of ourselves, like there’s a hole inside us.

How do we fill that hole?  I think there can be two different answers to this, the short term and long term answers.  In the short term we throw ourselves into things to fill the hole – for instance, organising a funeral, concentrating on our work, cleaning the house or partying.  Such things distract us and can be very useful in the short term, but don’t tend to be helpful in the longer term.

Recovery from loss is a slow process; it is partly a matter of waiting for that hole heal up, as a wound might heal.  However, we can ease this process by understanding the loss – what exactly was it about the loss that is difficult for us?  What are we missing?  By understanding this, we can explore how best to make up for the loss we have suffered.


About Paul Cockayne

Counsellor, musician, iPhone developer, games-player, cheese-lover....
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