Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 – firstname.lastname@example.org
This is a sort of counselling “blog” to give you a flavour of how I work. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above. This blog was previously at http://www.pcrc.berkshire-website.co.uk where historical entries from November 2008 can be found.
We show our emotions in different ways. Some people are very demonstrative – crying easily, shouting when angry, very bouncy when happy. Others are more restrained, preferring to deal with their emotions internally, going quiet and perhaps withdrawing if they are upset.
Just as we show emotions differently, we also deal with our partner’s emotions differently. Some of us are undisturbed by raised voices, others are fearful. Some are comfortable with silence, while others feel very rejected by a quiet partner. Some of us are content to let our partners “cry it out” while others feel a need to stop the tears as soon as possible.
The way we show emotions, and the way we deal with them, are most likely to be learnt behaviours, dating back to our childhood – how our parents dealt with emotions then, and how they expected us to deal with our emotions.
It can be helpful, in counselling, to understand the origins of our behaviours and understand what might make them difficult for our partner to deal with. With that understanding, can come the ability to adapt our behaviours to improve our relationship.
Tagsaddiction affair alcohol anger arguments behaviour belief beliefs bereavement blame change children choice communication compromise confusion context control conversation counselling couple decision depression difference drugs emotions expectations family fear feelings focus Future habit honesty hope humour Jealousy lies listening Loss love meaning memory mistakes needs negotiation objectives partner partnership past patterns perspective positive power present relationship respect responsibility right safety sex smoking stress stuck style support talking thoughts time trust truth understanding violence work wrong