Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 – email@example.com
This is a sort of counselling “blog” to give you a flavour of how I work. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above. This blog was previously at http://www.pcrc.berkshire-website.co.uk where historical entries from November 2008 can be found.
Some people seem unable to let go of the past. They seem to bear resentment for things that have happened years ago – they seem unable to draw a line and move on. The same things may keep coming up whenever there is an argument; conversations may keep on covering the same old ground.
Why is this? Often, I think, it is because the explanation for why events happened -who you or your partner behaved the way you did, said the things you said – the story you have about the past is in some way unsatisfactory, it doesn’t ring true, and so the search for a better explanation, a different story, goes on. And while the search goes on, the feelings keep on resurfacing.
Counselling can help by giving a different perspective. A counsellor may ask questions you haven’t thought of asking. The explanations, rather than being constrained and rigid, can start to become more fluid. Other factors may start to seem significant. Widening the search for the explanation can yield a richer story, a story that is more complete. And when the story makes sense, the feelings can subside, the resentments can be left behind.
Tagsaddiction affair alcohol anger arguments behaviour belief beliefs bereavement blame change children choice communication compromise confusion context control conversation counselling couple decision depression difference drugs emotions expectations family fear feelings focus Future habit honesty hope humour Jealousy lies listening Loss love meaning memory mistakes needs negotiation objectives partner partnership past patterns perspective positive power present relationship respect right safety sex smoking stress stuck style support talking thoughts time trust truth understanding violence vision work wrong