Counselling in Wokingham – Learning to Listen

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 –
This is a sort of counselling “blog” to give you a flavour of how I work. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above. This blog was previously at where historical entries from November 2008 can be found.
Communication is often a central theme in couple counselling, and people sometimes forget that communication is not just about talking – it is also about listening. And sometimes we fall into some bad habits when we listen. Are you guilty of any of these?

  • “I know what you’re going to say” – you’ve heard it before, a hundred times, you know what your partner’s going to say, so you don’t need to listen, do you?
  • “I really need to dive in there” – your partner says something that’s unfair, or annoying. You can’t let them get away with that! So you interrupt before they’ve finished.
  • “You’re sounding like my mother” – so rather that listening to what your partner’s saying, you start instead to think about your mother, and the things she used to say.

Counselling can help you to identify these, and other unhelpful patterns in your communication and to find ways of listening properly to your partner. And if you can both do that, suddenly it can become much easier to negotiate and compromise.

About Paul Cockayne

Counsellor, musician, iPhone developer, games-player, cheese-lover....
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