Counselling in Wokingham – Internal Conflicts

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 –
This is a sort of counselling “blog” to give you a flavour of how I work. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above. This blog was previously at where historical entries from November 2008 can be found.
Human beings are complex. We have different needs – the need for companionship, for independence, for purpose, for praise, for love, for pleasure – the list goes on. Each of us is different, so that the relative importance of these different needs is different in all of us. So some of us like a lot of time on our own, others like to spend a lot of time in the company of others.
All sorts of different needs are important to us and they are not always consistent with each other. For example, a client I recently worked with identified a desire to “belong” which led him to work for a large corporation and to be a “good employee” so that he was accepted. Alongside this, we also identified desires to rebel and to be seen as an individual – and these desires would lead him to speak up at work, to challenge authority – to be a “bad employee”.
Similar conflicting needs, I suspect, exist in most of us. While they can lead, at times, to confusion, I believe that they are also instrumental in giving us drive and energy. But whatever the cause and effect, understanding our own internal conflicts can be helpful in enabling us to manage them better – to accept and work with them, rather than allowing them to control us.

About Paul Cockayne

Counsellor, musician, iPhone developer, games-player, cheese-lover....
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