Counselling in Wokingham – Help! I have feelings for someone else!

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 –
This counselling “blog” is intended to give you a flavour of how I work. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above.
Sometimes, even in the happiest of relationships, we can develop feelings for someone else. If that happens it can be very confusing and disturbing. But it is not uncommon and doesn’t necessarily mean that you have fallen out of love with your partner.

Remember that you are confused, and that things are not always what they seem to be. If you follow your instincts and act on your attraction to the third party you are risking a lot in terms of your current relationship. We cannot easily control our feelings but as adults we can control what we do about them.

If you are able to talk about the situation with your partner, that can be a very healthy and constructive thing to do. It may be a difficult conversation to have, but being open and honest is nearly always better than concealment or deception which, more often than not, your partner will see through sooner or later. However, not all relationships, not all partners, can have such a conversation, so think carefully about the impact before you open up to your partner.

Whether or not you feel able to talk to your partner, talking to a counsellor can also be very productive. This can help you to sort out your feelings and understand better what is going on for you. Then you can make the right decisions for the right reasons, rather than acting on impulse and regretting it later.

About Paul Cockayne

Counsellor, musician, iPhone developer, games-player, cheese-lover....
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