Counselling in Wokingham – At Loggerheads!

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 – paulcockayne3@gmail.com
This blog is intended to give you a flavour of how I work as a counsellor. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above.

In all relationships, there will be times when you and your partner disagree about things. These may be big things – kids, moving house, major financial decisions – or small things – how to load the dishwasher, which TV programme to watch. Sometimes these disagreements can easily be resolved, at other times you can get very stuck, both holding entrenched positions.

How can you break this deadlock? In my experience, the key usually lies in exploration and understanding. Why do you each hold the views you do? Why is it important to you to have your way on this? Why is it difficult for you to agree with your partner? In thinking about your own answers to these questions, and listening to your partner’s answers, it can become possible to find agreement where none seemed possible.

Honesty is key here – not only being honest with your partner, but also being honest with yourself; sometimes the real reasons why you want things done your way are not the reasons you express to your partner – or the reasons you admit to yourself.

Counselling can help here, of course. In the first place it provides an environment where it is easier to have the conversation, and easier to listen. In the second place, a skilled counsellor can help you to explore your own motives in different ways.

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About Paul Cockayne

Counsellor, musician, iPhone developer, games-player, cheese-lover....
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