Counselling in Wokingham – What makes us who we are?

Paul Cockayne – 07791 970406 –
This blog is intended to give you a flavour of how I work as a counsellor. You can find more information about me by clicking one of the links above.

Many of us harbour fears that we may turn out like our father or mother; that as we get older we will turn into whichever parent we least admire. And sometimes our partners can feed this fear with remarks like “you’re just like your father!”

Do we have our parents inside us, controlling what we do and say? Though it may sometimes feel like that, as adults we do have the ability to make our own decisions and, if necessary, to tell those internalised parents to take a running jump.

My belief is that we are shaped far more by our experiences than by our genes, and this means that we are in control of what we do and who we are. We can shape our own values, thoughts and behaviour – they are not inherited from our parents.

Where counselling can help is by enabling you to untangle some of the mess; to distinguish between ideas that have come from your parents and those that have come from elsewhere. Then to be able to re-evaluate what you really believe in, and how you want to be as a person – as opposed to how your parents might have wanted you to be – or still do want you to be.

About Paul Cockayne

Counsellor, musician, iPhone developer, games-player, cheese-lover....
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